Finding true joy not just happiness

I see a lot of my friends doing the happiness project or 100 days of happiness challenge and it's made me think a lot about myself and if I can do something like this. I have been thinking I'll start when I am settled or when things start to look better…but why can't I start now and try? Do I think I will make it 100 strait days? Not a chance (I wish) but I do know that trying is better then not trying at all. If I can't be happy where I am right now then I can never be happy. Yet happiness is a feeling based on circumstances so what I am really searching for is JOY.  Joy is an attitude.

I am in MA for the summer and so far it's been a crazy adventure full of ups and downs. Westin's company moved us into a really bad apartment which is pet friendly and had dog hair everywhere.  They luckily did there best to fix it by deep cleaning the carpets and having a maid service come clean my home after I spent hours scrubbing and trying to get the dog hair away myself. It's gross to have a little guy walking in it and to be pregnant in all of it. My apartment also smelled like wet dog and I guess I was shocked and caught off guard. I thought I was stuck. It took me a few days to get the courage to say something to make the circumstance better and more enjoyable. What's also been hard is the fact I get the car maybe one time a week and am lucky if I do twice a week. I am at least an hour away from anyone I know and there isn't many places to walk to where I am with side walks. The pool isn't sanitary for Eastin &…etc. I could go on and on. So with this being my circumstance it's time to find joy in something really hard. My husband works 60 hours a week, I am alone most days, just Eastin and I. I thought there would be more wives in my husbands office to be friends with. I've tried to get to know people in my ward and around me but it hasn't seemed to work out when it come to play dates.

On top of all this not being super happy hasn't exactly made me the best wife and support to the most perfect man. It's time to make him happier as well and be the better half he deserves.



My goals is this…

• Find joy in this last 5 weeks I am here…then continue when Wes and I are apart for the next month.
• Appreciate the days even if they are not full of people, things, and entertainment to my liking. 
• Treat Westin with the most respect of anyone deserving
•  Help to make Eastin happy and stop thinking about boardom and circumstance.
• Get a good nights rest so I wake up rejuvenated. 
• Make sure I don't eat a ton of sugar that wears me down and actually lessons my energy levels. 
• Mediate, journal and read scriptures or articles for spiritual strength in the morning.
• Stretch and work out each day.
• Wake up tomorrow with a plan to be happy and evaluate how I do each day.
• ALSO NOOOO absolutely NOOO complaining to my husband. POSTIVE things to say only...

TRUST ME I KNOW IT COULD BE A LOT WORSE and it doesn't help that I've been spoiled by living in HI, have had a car most my life, and have been surrounded by friends and family who love me. Yes I am grateful I am not poor, have clean water to drink, food to eat, am not a slave on the sex trade etc… I think about these things I promise. Life is really good even when I've been spoiled and want so much more. SO TODAY I am going to look for the good in all things and go out of my way to focus on CREATING A LIFE I LOVE and finding joy in hard times.

YEP as spoiled as I am and dumb that I sound…I am going to find Joy.