I am cherished and loved

I am so lucky

Is there anyone out there like myself who is there own worse critic at times. Whose total happiness reverts completely back to them. Our words are exactly what guide our days and our emotions. I don't know if everyone feels they are in control of there happiness but I am. My words control how I feel from moment to moment.

I have a huge problem with disappointment and not living up to expectations of myself. I want to be a great mom, not perfect but amazing and I really want to be an outstanding wife. I put a lot of pressure on myself at times, (like I am sure millions of people do each day,) but at times this can be toxic on my relationships. Especially when your pregnant and your hormones get the best of you sometimes. There are seriously times when I will be eating breakfast and I feel about 4 emotions in about 15 minutes. I don't react to them most of the time, but they are strong and I just have to breath through them. I can cry in a second, be angry in another and exhausted the next, and happy in another minute. With this my words can effect how these emotions can be take.

This day I lived in a beautiful moment. 

This week I've been incredibly lonely and with this I've decided to tell myself I am unlovable, un-worthy, and worthless. RIGHT lonely feelings lead to toxic results sometimes which is completely false and irrational thinking. These words have left me crying yes crying on the phone to my husband until 1:30 AM, telling him he deserves so much better then me. Going into every mistake I've made, spilling all my regrets for getting upset at him or saying this to him when I should kept my mouth shut etc. Like I am supposed to be perfect right. NO ONE EVER SAID YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT and that YOU WON'T get annoyed, upset or angry at your husband.

This leads to him trying to do reverse physiology on me...telling me everyone says things they don't mean, everyone has to learn to bite there tongue, people get in disagreements sometimes, you do deserve me, I love you etc. SO CRAZY right. It's so childish and yet LONELY lead to complete irrational thoughts and words that lead to unnecessary unhappiness. I know some of you are laughing because I know you've done the same thing right? SO WHY!

NEVER AGAIN…SO dumb and unnecessary drama for my poor husband and myself.

My affirmations to myself this week is this:

I am worthy of love, I am adored and admired by my husband, he works so hard and sacrifices so much for our family because he loves us so much, I am admired by friends and family, I am cherished for my work as a mom by those around me, I am admired for who I am and what I do each day, life is simple but beautiful, and I am grateful for each and everyday. I AM HAPPY and today I choose to be happy and not let these hormones get the best of me.

RIGHT feels so much better then negative words and really in all honestly its the truth.

WHY DO WE TELL OURSELVES LIES?

I honestly have been really good at affirmations. I have learned to completely love and adore myself especially after an eating disorder. I don't ever tell myself I am fat ever…well maybe 3 times a year which is way good. I really do love who I am most of the time. I know words are toxic and it was the biggest life changer for me when it came to healing and overcoming an addiction. I use to have bad habits and huge problems but I changed this so why did I get here again.

This all comes back to habits are something we have to pay attention to even when we overcome them. They can come back and bit us in the butt again when we least expect them do. I have to work on positive affirmations again for a while to get me back on track.

Life is beautiful even when your pregnant and at times crazy. Crazy thought process of mine again but I had to get it out on paper.


I am loved and adored my him




When you think your husband doesn't love you… I would say 98% of the time you are completely making it up and causing unnecessary problems. HARD LESSON learned. No more drama from this girl and grief no one needs.

TRUE STORY…the end.

LIFE REALLY IS SIMPLE

LIFE IS TO BE ADMIRED

 CHERISHED 
ADORED

LIFE IS NEVER TO HAVE REGRETS

TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT

BREATH THROUGH BOTH UPS & DOWNS

TO LEARN FORM MISTAKES

MOVE ON

CHANGE

CREATE AND UPLIFT
TO BE YOU

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL