Motherhood & Sunshine

Motherhood is a special thing. I am so happy I am a mom and so excited to have baby two. I may not be finically stable, homeless at the moment, taking huge risks, and a little crazy but it doesn't matter. I am a mom and am being blessed with two beautiful kids. I may not have the gift to have anymore but I am being given this blessing. With this I am grateful.

There are so many nights I want to crawl in my sons crib and cuddle him all night. There are days I cry because I don't want him to grow one more day older. There are also days I don't know how I made it through and wish I could have some alone time. There are days I don't get a shower, I forget to eat, I stay in my PJ's with no make-up on and yet I wouldn't change it for the world. I love being a mom and right now being a mom in the circumstance I am in gets me out of bed everyday. It keeps me happy, positive, and motivated to be more optimistic.

I am a little embarrassed of my life. We left Hawaii not because we wanted too but because we were broke. We are waiting to get into grad school and were jobless. My husband is taking a huge risk which I am so proud of. He is trying sales out for the summer. Am I scared YES but do I doubt him NO. Him just trying his best is all that matters. We have nothing to loose. We have no job and we only have things to gain. If its not money and to be finically stable then we gained the knowledge that in the back of Westin's mind he will know he tried something hard, something out of his comfort zone, something that he always wondered if it was right for him. If we gain we get to buy a home and be able to give what we want to our kids a little more. We are just lucky to have a place to go if this doesn't work out and that Wes has a few job opportunities for work when we return.

Yes when life gives you lemons make lemonade. This is what I am trying to do. Being a mom really gives me that drive to be better. Without this gift and a handsome, patient, loving husband I think I could let myself get depressed and think poor me. Yet, even I think well thousands of people have it worse then me and then revert back to my life is beautiful. If I am not happy now with so much even though I only have my needs met...then I'll never be happy. SO yet again I choose to be happy and see the positive.

Today I am just happy I am a mom. A gift others struggle with while we struggle with something else. Suffering is universal and everyone has a trial or trials along the way. Somehow everything works out. I am just glad I am not on this journey alone. I have a beautiful family who keeps the sunshine flowing in.

The End.